Is It Biblical to Spank Your Child?

This has become a controversial topic. To spank or not to spank. Is it Biblical to spank your child?

In this article, I will bring up certain scriptures pertaining to “the rod” and I hope it allows you to ponder and decide for yourself what you feel is the best and appropriate way to discipline your child.

I never knew what it meant when my parents told me “it hurts me worse than it hurts you” while I received the discipline I clearly deserved. I never knew until I had my son. It’s during the early stage of his life when I know that his father and I must stand firm and not sway for his sake. But oh my, it can be difficult sometimes.

While I will bring you scriptures to raise the awareness of why it’s so very important to correctly discipline a child, I will not shove anything down your throat. I believe that we all are trying to raise our children under the guidance of our Heavenly Father and I do believe if we are not correct in our ways, He will definitely reveal it to us.

Acts of Discipline

Motherhood and the Tool of Discipline (A few excerpts are taken from The Study Bible for Women CSB)

A parent who loves her child wisely is willing to endure the pain of applying discipline and to invest time in monitoring the child’s behavior and responses. Early and consistent parental discipline gives a child the foundation necessary to cultivate the desire to go God’s way throughout his life. However, without loving affection and dedicated responsibility to nurture the child in every sense, the “rod” indeed becomes a means of suffering under tyrannical rule. Under God’s plan, the “rod of discipline” can accomplish these goals:

• Stop the child’s willful rebellion against parental authority
• Express loving concern for guiding a child into the way most helpful to him
• Expedite the most effective development of the child in preparation for taking his place in the world
• Cleanse the child from a spirit of willful disobedience
• Drive foolishness out of the heart of the child
• Ultimately deliver the child from eternal punishment
• Teach the child
• Communicate to the child his personal responsibility for acts of disobedience
• Bring the child into voluntary submission to divine authority and
• Reward the parents with rest and satisfaction, knowing they have done their best in rearing their child unto the Lord.

Guidelines for Discipline

The book of Proverbs also presents guidelines for how parents are to use the “rod”:

• Discipline should be administered promptly in order to correct wrong behavior before patterns are set
• Punishment should be administered tenderly and firmly, being certain the child understand the offense clearly
• Sorrow for the child because of his disobedience should be reflected by the parent
• Caution should be exercised in avoiding inappropriate severity in punishment
• The parent should remain with the child after punishment until fellowship has been restored.

Proverbs 13:18 says Poverty and disgrace come to those who ignore discipline, but the one who accepts correction with be honored. It is wise to administer the proper form of discipline while the child is still young so that he will learn a healthy fear of what discipline is. I’m not referring to the “fear of being afraid”, but the “fear of respect”. If your child cannot learn this healthy fear while he is young, he will grow into a young man who cannot and will not accept any form of discipline and reprimand.

Proverbs 13:24 says The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.

We must understand the word diligently, meaning consistently, attentive, persistent, and painstakingly.

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Don’t Withhold Discipline

Proverbs 23:13-14 “Don’t withhold discipline from a youth; if you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with a rod, and you will rescue his life from Sheol.”

Parents are admonished again; Don’t withhold discipline from a youth. The means of correction is the rod. Discipline is not to bring hurt and misery to the child but rather to enable them to live life with the greatest success and joy. Sheol is a reference to death, which was considered punishment for wickedness. This deliverance includes escaping physical dangers that would be incurred in an undisciplined and foolish lifestyle as well as avoiding spiritual death, which is the end result of rebellion against God.

Proverbs 3:12 “for the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.

Discipline, also meaning training, chastening, or instruction, is part of the pedagogical process. Whether verbal or physical, helping a child to obey sometimes demands a painful correction in order bring him into the right way. Sometimes corrections become afflictions of love as well as warning to avoid greater judgment. If the teacher or parent does not administer this discipline, he becomes part of the wrongdoing. In the relationship between the Lord and His children, correction is a sign of God’s love. Discipline, the gentle shaping by a loving heavenly Father and not the vindictive punishment of an irate God, is the means for achieving obedience and the fruit of walk in the way of the Lord.

Hebrews 12:6 “for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punished ever son he receives.”

There are times when I would love to turn a blind eye to my child’s wrongdoing. It would be so easy to look away or go to another room when he has an attitude or directly disobeys. But I know I would be in the wrong to not address the issue.

It hurts my heart to discipline my child but I must stay diligent because my husband and I are raising a young man that will understand what obedience and submission to God is. And that starts with obedience and submission to his parents.