Trading Perfect for Better | From an Adoptive Mother

Describe the perfect family scenario that you have in your mind. Think about the perfect house that you want to live in, how many vehicles you’d like to have, and how many children you want.

Now imagine if God took his eraser and erased all that you have planned, and He decided to add His own touches. Don’t misunderstand me, there’s nothing wrong with planning and dreaming. I do it all of the time! I love to think ahead and dream about the future. But do we allow God room to maneuver?

I want to share with you a family, personal friends of mine, who chose to put “perfect” aside for the “better” of children who originally did not have a great start in life.

When my friend had her first child, she had no idea how God would drastically change her life in the near future. He took her to places many people would never want to go. God has given her a beautiful life and she has followed Him right to where He has led her today. She has a beautiful family of four boys, and she and her husband are loving every second of it.

This is her perception of what it looks like when one decides that not being perfect is okay. And deciding to give a child a future of love is more important!

Trading “Perfect” for “Better | From an Adoptive Mother

“Our newest little man is 2 months old today! We have been in the NICU for 61 days now. SIXTY-ONE days in the hospital…Yes, to be honest, it’s been challenging having one child living in a Children’s Hospital and three children living 2 ½ hours away.

I’ve bounced back and forth, trying to be with the child that needed me the most on that particular day. My husband has held down the fort at home. My mother and mother-in-law have become experts at helping shuttle kids to and from school and extracurricular activities.

It’s definitely NOT the “perfect” scenario. In fact, it’s been a little chaotic around here. Our kids may be a minute late for school one day. Our son may not have the perfect shade of blue undershirt for his basketball uniform. Our kindergartner may go to school without his folder signed one day because everyone thought someone else had already looked through it, when, in fact, no one had. But, you know what…it’s OKAY…O.K.A.Y!!!

People ask us all the time, “How do y’all make it work with FOUR kids?” The answer…we are willing to trade “perfect” for “better”. Perfect is having a bedroom for each child…better is giving children who would be homeless a better life where they have a warm, soft, clean bed…even if they have to share a room with a sibling.

Perfect is being able to spend one-on-one time with each child for 20 minutes each night working on homework and supplemental school work…better is setting up resources for them to work independently as we do our best to try and rotate our one-on-one time with the child that needs it the most that night. Because if we had only settled for perfect and not taken those children then they would have arrived home from school to find a parent passed out on drugs that never helped them with homework.

Perfect is having the kids dressed like they could model for a magazine each day…better is having them in clean clothes (that at least come close to fitting and may or may not match) and properly fitted shoes…because if they hadn’t come to live with us they would be wearing dirty clothes that were covered in drug residue and shoes that rubbed blisters on their feet.

Perfect is having time for a home cooked meal every night at the table….better is having a combination of cooked from scratch meals, take out meals and drive-thru nights for a child that would have gone to bed hungry if we had demanded a lifestyle that had time for a “perfect dinner” for our family every night.

Perfect is having both mom and dad at every sporting event…better is having mom at one event and dad at another. Because if we hadn’t taken that child he would have had no parent around to go to his events.

I could go on, but I think I’ve shared enough to convey that we are aware that our lives are not perfect. We don’t need anyone to point out the imperfections. But we have chosen to lay the selfish desire of “perfection” down, and carry out the gospel of Christ….trading a “perfect” life for a crazy, busy, sometimes chaotic life that gives children a better life story than they would have had if we had said “no” instead of “yes”.

James 1:27 says “What God the Father considers to be pure and genuine religion is this: to take care of orphans and widows in their suffering and to keep oneself from being corrupted by the world.” Our GOAL is to carry out the gospel.

To lay down the desire for a “perfect family life” to give orphans a “better life”….we may not be able to change how their life’s story started, but by saying “yes” we can change how it ends. We know it’s not for everyone, but we LOVE our crazy, busy, wonderful life with our FOUR BLESSINGS!”

Joey and Amanda enjoy being parents to their four boys that God has chosen to give them. They constantly strive to work for the Kingdom of God and show their “little blessings” that there is a better way.

Each of our story is different. But one thing that we can learn from this beautifully written piece is that it’s okay not to be perfect. Let God write your story and enjoy this journey called LIFE.

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”

Much Love,