Your Negativity is Ruining Your Child

Your negativity is ruining your child. Yikes! That is a harsh statement. But I encourage you to read on because I want to bring awareness to a life you as a sweet mother may be living before your child.

Let’s begin with an amazingly powerful scripture in the Bible;

Proverbs 18:21 KJV “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” What we speak, whether positively or negatively, has power. This scripture changes the way I think about so many issues in life.

Constant talking in a negative way, discussing other people’s lives with others in a negative way, downgrading your children’s actions, this all has an effect on how your child views things in life.

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Ephesians 5:4 “Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.”

I know there are times when we all get in a “mood” and we begin spouting off about things we later wish we had not. Unknowingly, it becomes a habit and these words begin to teach your child how they should act toward people or how they should respond to a situation.

Ways that you can recognize if you’re being negative:

• Are you constantly nagging? This is a huge one! Women, in general, get a bad reputation for this one. But lovingly teaching and nagging are two different things. Girlfriend, I have to watch myself on this one sometimes because I don’t want to be guilty of this.

I get it, I really do. We just need to make sure that we are speaking in the right tone, with the right attitude and in the right frame of mind.

• How many times a day do you speak negatively about your life or someone else’s life? If you are always trying to find a way to bring up a situation in your life that is negative or try to talk about a person negatively to someone else, you might want to pull the reigns a bit.

Your child is listening to everything you say negatively about yourself. They also hear what you say about other people and they will form opinions that may not be correct about that person. So please be careful when addressing others.

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• How do you view your situation, whether it’s good or bad? When people have fallen under the negative frame of mind, their view of their life is always worse than it truly is. Children pick up on things like this and in turn, causes the children to not be able to enjoy the moment. Eventually, the child will feel their life is not going as well and they don’t feel they can enjoy what they would like.

• Do you always have a smart alleck comeback when your children try to discuss things with you? So, who hasn’t had a quick comeback to their kid before? I know situations can become frustrating and you can get a little snippy. But constantly having a witty comeback to your child anytime they try to discuss issues with you is not cute. It causes them to not want to bring anything up and then you wonder why they never want to talk to you. This also causes them to do the same thing to other people, adults, and other children, alike. And sadly, that is teaching your child to be disrespectful.

• Are you always a “Debbie-Downer”? If your name is Debbie, I am so sorry. This is just what we say in the south when someone is in a bad mood. Haha. A “Debbie-Downer” can never see the good in a situation or never enjoys life. This is a person who always has something negative to say about anything.

Like I mentioned earlier, maybe you unknowingly created a habit of having a negative attitude. But the great thing about it is that you can always break away from this! With the help of God and some prayer, you can most definitely change your ways.

Ways to overcome negativity:

• Renew your way of thinking. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). 
• Change the way you react in a situation.
• Think before you speak. Think about your words and how they will affect the ones around you. Will this encourage or discourage?
• Get in the Word of God and research scriptures on a positive mindset and thinking.
• Stay alert and on guard. When you begin trying to change your ways, the devil will want to discourage you and sidetrack you. Be aware of this and stay prayed up.

I hope that this has helped bring awareness about how words and actions can discourage your child and even cause them to become negative. You can overcome negativity and live a positive life! And please, don’t be a Debbie-Downer.

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